Sunday, May 19, 2013

6 months :)
So today is 6 months together with him :), though I realized I never said his name its kind of weird to say it. But yah today is 6 months together with Carlos and we were able to go out today :). Though my mom didn't want to take me to where we were going to go, the Burbank Mall, so she made us go there but only dropped me off at the bus stop. So today I was able to experience going by bus somewhere without my family, which has only happened once. It was fun, though we only went to one store, the arcade, and to the movies. Though at first we spent too much time at the store so we missed a showtime. So we went to one theater, then the next, but then checked again for the price, and ended up walking again to the theater outside. It was a very fun day :).
I was also able to buy the origami paper for making paper cranes and got nice paper for 3 dollars with 100 sheets.
I also noticed that it was my first time, or one of my first times I can't remember, time going to the mall without my family. Funny how it isn't with friends but my boyfriend instead.
I'm really glad I'm able to do a lot of stuff with him especially since he's graduating this year though TONS of people keep asking what I'm going to do when he leaves. We'll one thing I am not doing is breaking up with him just because of that, that's for sure.
Even though this wasn't on my bucket-list, at least I don't think it is, I'm really glad we had the chance to do this. Although this time around I don't have any pictures. So enjoy one I think fits the post :)
Funny part is that I still am not able to tell my dad I have a boyfriend and keep it from him for this long. It makes me feel bad that I'm not able to and that I keep on lying to him and makes me wonder how long I'll keep this up. At least I've told my mom about this though.
Thank you for reading :)

Saturday, May 4, 2013

My Obituary Assignment

In English we were suppose to write an obituary of our lives with the best possible out come ... well I didn't really know what I wanted and it made me think about what I wanted to do in life. So I chose what sounded the best the me, or at least sounded interesting to me. I am still just 16 and although college is just around the corner I still can't figure out how I want my life to come out. Although my obituary might be a stretch on how my life will be or how I would like it to be it's still something that I can consider as I plan for my (hopefully) long journey ahead of me in life :). 
"Liseli Luna was the second child and only daughter of Santa Martinez and Enrique Luna. She was born on December 15, 1996 and lived until September 7, 2082. She died from carbon monoxide alongside her husband, a painless death she would have been content with since her husband wouldn’t be sad without her, or vice versa.
She couldn’t decide what she wanted to do as a career so when she graduated high school she decided to do the thing that sounded most interesting to her and decided to become an author and own a café. She owned her café in a peaceful town and knew many of her customers personally. It was one of her countless dreams to create a café with a soothing and fun atmosphere, which she managed to accomplish (from the countless accounts from customers).
She got to travel around the world in search of the best dessert around the world visiting Paris, London, Belgium, and many other places. She also got to visit Japan countless times, and was her favorite place by far. In her house she has multiple pictures of every place she has gone to and at least on knickknack of each place. She also tried to get the recipes of each of her favorite desserts but was only given two recipes since the patisseries’’ did not want to give up their secrets so easily.
She got married on November 19, 2022 to Alan Valadez. She was able to design and get a tailor to make her dream dress, made of lace, to come to life. In her wedding the flowers in her wedding each had a meaning behind it to represent what she wanted in the marriage. She was also able to fold 1000 paper cranes for happiness of her marriage. It was a masquerade/Japanese themed/styled wedding, ( a unique mix that clearly showed her odd interests, and of course her husband was forced to wear a tailcoat to suit her tastes.) She made sure that the food was amazing and would have no less for her guests and herself. And for her honeymoon she went off to Japan to spend time in hot springs and beautiful mountain-ish scenery and then went off to another set of hot springs near the ocean.
She also tried her best to learn how to bake pies and cookies and sweets to give to her children and grandchildren and spoil them with sweets. She managed to create her own recipe book to pass down to her family so that one day maybe they could do the same.
Instead of having children she wanted to adopt since she felt no use to have kids when there were children without some to call a parent who would love to have a family. She ended up adopting three children, two boys and one girl (Josh, Zachery (Zach), and Jacquelyn). She ended up having one child of her own (Celandine) and treated them all equally and as her own. She ended up having ten grandchildren and spoiled them very much.
She was able to have one best seller novel out of the 30+ books that she wrote and one bestselling children’s book. One thing that she always wanted to do was touch a red panda, and by age 38 she was finally able to, even for just a bit, since they are endangered.
At her funeral she asks each person to, if they are thinking of bringing flowers, to get a flower with a meaning behind it, but it is forbidden to hold a meaning of grief or sadness but instead to be a meaning of joy or happiness."
 Trying to make this obituary would require 1: a lot of time, and 2: a lot of money. To be able to travel around the world takes a lot of money and I would need to learn their languages to be able to search for the best dessert or just enjoy the stay well. To own a cafe I would need to go to college and learn about business and probably culinary arts if I wanted it to be a really good cafe (which I would). I would also have to consider where I want to live and how I would want my family to live. So there would be a lot to consider and think about if I really wanted all of my obituary to come true.
Although in the beginning of the year I wrote a list of things that I felt I wanted to do before I die there were many other things that I didn't even think about that I felt happy when I did. Like going to the festival of colors(which I should blog about) or just spending time with my friends. So even if I do plan what to do in the future maybe it's the spontaneous things that counts, but who knows I should just enjoy my youth while I can. 

Thursday, May 2, 2013

The buried life quote

But hardly have we, for one little hour,
Been on our own line, have we been ourselves—      60
Hardly had skill to utter one of all
The nameless feelings that course through our breast,
But they course on for ever unexpress'd.
And long we try in vain to speak and act
            Our hidden self, and what we say and do                     65
Is eloquent, is well—but 't is not true!
And then we will no more be rack'd
With inward striving, and demand
Of all the thousand nothings of the hour
                                 Their stupefying power;                           70
Ah yes, and they benumb us at our call!

This might not be my favorite quote but it is the one I can find the most truth in and that I believe to be true, which is why it most likely "speaks" to me the most. So I made this image and kept it simple (and raw you can say). No fancy art, no actual realism, just a quick drawing of what I believe to be a representation of the lines above from the poem The Buried Life by Mathew Arnold. Of course maybe I could have done better on the art but I'll leave that to another time. I have three phrases I wrote. "They are right" "Am I wrong?" "Who am I?". By playing pretend and always tying to fit in, to not make a scene and not disrupt the flow of things you lose sight of who you are and what really matters to you. You let the judgement of others control how you lead your life and hide your true self so long that not even you remember or know who you are, and even when you lose yourself you still wonder "Am I wrong?" still following the crowd. But why do we do this? Lie to ourselves and become something we are not? I still don't know the answer to this myself and am still trying to find what I can call my "true self". I always wonder "who am I?", I act differently depending on who I am talking to. Is that all the different sides of me or just a facade? When I am by myself am I my true self? When and how will I know I have become my true self and follow what I want to do. Maybe it's the purpose of this blog, maybe it's not, but at least I am able to tell that I need to search for it, that person that I can call "myself" truly and wholeheartedly and make that journey that I can look back on and smile at the road I took to  reach to the place, to the destination of a "TRUE LIFE".